Hog Tied: Fitness, Illusions, Ownership, and Brief Thoughts On Baseball

No doubt, the CDC has some statistic that says that the odds of me being attacked and molested by a gang mutant jackals, dressed in Kevlar pajama pants, with whiskey on their breath is 90% greater than the odds of me dying from the H1N1 virus. This may be true. I will continue however, to [...]

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That’s entertainment… and possibly a reason to exercise!

If you don’t understand and accept the values and benefits of daily exercise by now, I want you to wear a John Hagee mask so I know who you are when we meet on the street.   Functional fitness training, strength training, cardiovascular training, core training, bla bla bla-diddy-bla bla bla. Whatever – I’m over all [...]

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Jaw Cardio; the death of progress…

Jaw cardio is not an exercise, yet it is the most practiced activity in gyms across the country. More words seem to be spoken in health clubs each day than weights lifted, miles run, and stairs climbed combined. Jaw cardio is the unbending deterrent which stands impregnably between you and the results you seek from [...]

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Crowds in my coffee (Counter-attack)

Despite my fitness goals, I often succumb to the allure and false salvation of gas station coffee. Though Starbucks and Pete’s have an obvious chokehold on the nation’s young entrepreneurs, software writers, thinkers, and artistic wannabes, myself and America’s other simpletons are still taking our morning fix at the Arco station, and for a much better [...]

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Race, Pace, or Place; Being A Schmuck Is A Humble Place

(originally written, November, 2008)
My girlfriend, Patti, and I just completed the Long Beach half-marathon – in preparation for a full marathon we will complete in December. This process, the preparation for, and including a full marathon, is to be the Mt. Everest of my adult life. The half-marathon Patti and I completed this weekend went [...]

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Dawn Of The Deads

 

An incurable romantic I am. Every so often I find myself falling in love though I do try to avoid it – for rarely is the romance worth the ensuing torment and pain. However, the lure, the intoxication, and the gravity of love anew is persuasive and it gets the better of me every time. [...]

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Homo-Karateous

My brother, Mark, is now a black belt in Karate. More on that later.
I met my brother when I was just a few days old; he is four years my senior. Our first dialogue took place the day I came home from the hospital. It was a one way conversation, he calling me a “puss”, [...]

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Blowing silence

My body, under the stress of lifting weights, is always held tight. Good form must prevail. My trunk and core are rigid throughout. The only action I allow during my resistance training is movement from the muscles I am trying to engage while lifting. The rest of my body, I envision, is made from stone. [...]

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Ten things that aren’t cardio

Many of my clients update me on their daily/weekly cardio activities by way of email. I think this is noble, and it is always appreciated — though it isn’t always cardio. And though the line between exercise and cardio can be fine, it is more often broad — especially under the confluent human behaviors of [...]

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Lust For Cheese-Its

There’s no such thing as a single handful of Cheese-Its. Or even enough Cheese-Its. I really like them — Cheese-Its; like opium, orgasm and a good nap rolled into one. My Cheese-Its come in a large red box with a defining burnt orange stripe across the front.
 

They are lightly salted snack crackers, square in shape [...]

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